The Journey

A few weeks ago, as we continued through The Story, my church family and I were presented with the Israelites’ continued wandering through the wilderness. Pastor Tim began his sermon by asking each of us to talk with our neighbor for just a few moments. He asked us to consider three questions: Where are you on your journey? What is God teaching you? What is God saying to you?

I talked with the woman next to me, sharing the bare minimum answers required to have my response make sense. But now as I write this, given more time to contemplate, I think I have come to a more solid response.

Where am I on my journey? At this time in my life, I finally feel settled. Most of my life has been spent working toward first one goal and then another. I am a type-A personality who never stops working hard for whatever is coming up on the horizon. My journey toward becoming the Worship and Music Director at FRC was an unexpected end to this particular phase in my life, and I never dreamed that each step along the journey would lead me to this point.

I grew up in the church and was introduced to faith in Jesus Christ at a very early age. This eventually led me to pursue a degree at a private Christian College. I was immersed in Christian community, student-lead praise and worship, and numerous talent competitions. I found myself in Nashville a few years later, trying to find my place in the music industry. Less than a year later, I thought I had found the next path for my life: obtaining a record deal and promoting my music. But God had other plans. The deal fell through, and I found myself continuing along in my Masters’ degree program with the hopes of becoming a praise and worship leader in the local church.

Now as I lead in music each Sunday morning, I marvel at how my life’s journey has brought me to this place. I have learned what it means to be a praise and worship director by the way in which God has prepared me and brought me into contact with the people and elements that would shape me into who I am today. Where am I on my journey today? I would have to say that my only goal for the future is to keep learning and growing in faith and serving Him in everything I do.

What is God teaching me? Right now, I think God is teaching me to be patient and understand others with a different perspective. As I explained earlier, I am a type-A personality, and nothing frustrates me more than having to pick up the slack when someone doesn’t come through on what they have promised to do. I find that not only am I striving for perfection that can never be attained, but I am also becoming frustrated by the fact that I sometimes feel like everyone’s mother. I guess being a camp director will do this to a person, but sometimes I am just plain tired of taking on the responsibility. Quite often, I am lacking in patience and perspective, so it has been my prayer recently to seek out a deeper love for others that will result in a greater level of patience and understanding. It hasn’t been easy for me, but I am praying that God will work through me as I seek to work in harmony with those around me.

Finally, what is God saying to me? I believe He is telling me to take the time to listen to others. For someone who is in leadership, I always feel like I have to have the answers. But that isn’t always true. Sometimes, a person just needs someone to listen to their story and give silent support. Sometimes, words can be damaging and the best thing a person can do is just hear someone out before jumping forward into the next thought or idea. This is something that I have been struggling with for some time, and I am continually seeking out ways to put my listening skills into action.

We are drawing near to the end of 2012, so already I am thinking about my goals for next year. This past year, I gave myself the challenge to be a mirror and to reflect Christ in my service to Him. In 2013, I think I will reflect further on these three questions. I will consider my journey, what He is teaching me, and what He is saying to me. Perhaps I will find that I will become a worship leader after His own heart with a greater sense of compassion for others. But until then, I will take the necessary steps day-by-day and follow wherever He leads.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s