I was comfortable in bed a few nights ago as I prayed and asked God for direction for my activities in the coming days. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was struck with a powerful wave of homesickness. My eyes teared up, and my thoughts traveled to a home at the top of a hill along the country roads of my home town. I couldn’t explain this sudden nostalgia; I only knew that I was homesick.
There is something about turning 30 (which has been my reality the past few weeks), that has led me to be a bit reflective. Perhaps this is what caused me to miss home. The funny thing is that I currently live in the town where I grew up, but my time in the house on the hill is in the past. A new family lives in our home where new memories are being created every day, and its hard for me to imagine anyone but our family living there.
But as I longed for home, I found myself smiling at the same time. There are so many memories that bring me joy, and I am glad I had the opportunity to experience twelve years of my life within the walls of that home. I wrote my first songs in my bedroom upstairs. I watched storms roll in from the big window outside my bedroom door. I did my homework and helped Mom cook in the kitchen just off the dining room. I curled up on the couch in the living room to watch TV with the family. I read outside on the deck on bright, summer afternoons. I played with my sisters and practiced music in the unfinished basement. There was happiness, love, and contentment in that home.
The more I thought about my time spent in that house, the more my perspective began to shift. I found that I cared less and less about the physical structure of the home and focused more and more on what what truly mattered during that season of my life. I grew up in physical stature, but more importantly, I came to faith in Christ and learned what it truly meant to serve Him from day to day. It was in the house on the hill that I built my spiritual foundation.
I attended a concert recently, and a musician introduced one of her songs by talking about the seasons of life. She explained that most people can look at their family background and get an idea of their life expectancy. On average, many people live to be 82 or 83 if it is God’s will. So with that being said, a person in their 20s is approaching what could be called the end of their Springtime of life. For someone like myself who has reached 30 years of age, it is humbling to realize that I have now entered my Summer.
This Summer is nothing like I expected it would be. As a 20-something college graduate, I was anticipating being married and having children by the time I was 30. I thought perhaps I would have published several books by now and would be comfortable in my career and family life. I never thought I would still be single at the time of my 30th birthday, and I certainly never thought I would be working as a worship leader during this season. Yes, I have published books, but that part of my life never developed into true success.
I am not writing any of this so that you might feel sorry for me. I do not want my readers to think that I am depressed or saddened by these realizations. I only share these thoughts to consider the upcoming seasons on my life’s calendar. If God wills it to be, I will be in this Summertime for a few more years. What am I going to do with this time He has given me? I would pray that I would use these days of young adulthood to focus on what truly matters: reaching others for Christ, singing for His honor and glory, writing words of encouragement for those who need it the most, serving and leading with a grateful heart, and seeking His will for my life.
I truly believe the homesickness that I felt opened the door to reflection and a means for me to examine what comes next in my life. From Springtime, Summer, Autumn, and Winter, I would pray that I would consider what has gone before me and reach for all that is ahead.
I hope you will be encouraged by a song by Nichole Nordeman which mirrors this post in theme. I invite you to check out this video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dwpdZdvCl8.
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