After attending church this Sunday and observing the Sacrament of Holy Communion, I was reminded of a post I had made back in February at the beginning of the season of Lent. My recent exploration of the book of Psalms also brought to mind Psalm 51 and its penitential focus. I would like to repost my “Cassie Contemplates…” entry from February 27, 2012 included here below.
I was feeling lower than low. It had been a long day and I was feeling under attack. Nothing I had done that day had seemed to measure up. I was weak, defeated, and feeling just plain worthless. I began going over my failures in my head, and that’s never a good thing to do when you’re already reached the depths of despair. And then, sins and bad habits came to mind, and I was a mess— brought to tears by the sheer hopelessness that had come over me.
I cried out to God in confession, seeking repentance for the wrongs I had committed and to find peace in Him. I recognized that my desperate prayers were falling on the eve of Ash Wednesday, which is recognized in the Church as a day of confession and repentance as we contemplate Christ’s ultimate sacrifice in that we are dust and to dust we will return.
I fell asleep that night, deep in sorrow for my failures, sins, and grief. But when I awoke the next morning, I was reminded that joy really does come in the morning. The sun was shining, and although I was still thinking about my prayers from the night before, I did my best to smile as I thought about the promise of a new day.
I booted up my computer and clicked into iTunes. For me, it’s always a better day when there is music. I tuned into one of my favorite contemporary Christian stations, and the morning show host introduced the song “Remind me who I am” by Jason Gray. Now, I had heard the song before, but at no other time did the lyrics strike me on such a personal level. The song tells of the shame and guilt that a person can have over past sin and how we can so often lose perspective. We often forget that we are His Beloved. The song pleads with God to remind us of who we are in Him.
Moments after the song played, the station played a brief clip from Jason, sharing the story behind the track. He relayed that he wrote the song in response to the continued reminder of sin in His life. He said that the times he felt excessive guilt over the wrongs he committed was the very time he needed a reminder of his identify in Christ.
The same was true of me that morning as I heard the song and the story behind its writing. I needed to be reminded of who I was in Him— that I was His Beloved. I found it equally fitting that I stumbled on some verses from Psalm 51 as I started in on my Lent devotions, and I would like to leave you with these Words of healing and repentance as I close. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin” (Psalm 51:1-2).
I am forgiven and I am His!
Just in case you need reminding of His love for you, please take a few moments to watch Jason Gray’s music video for his song, “Remind me who I am.” I have included the link with this post. Blessings to you, friends, as you find your true identity, love, and forgiveness in the One who loves you with a crazy, passionate love!